Halloween Decorations

I found lots of creepy "decorations" in the woods on my morning saunter.  I love fall.  At 55 F with leaves already on the forest floor, it certainly felt like the second day of autumn.  The photos aren't very good.  My iPhone doesn't do miniscule detail well, but I still wanted to record them here.

Moss covered dead man's hand.

Zombie ears.

Hitchhiking creepy crawly.

When I shook off my hitchhiker I realized how I had picked him up.  Dangling by a thread.

Beautiful, but I'm sure, deadly, flowers. 

The Girl That Won't Shut Up. The Book That Writes Itself.

I always feel better when a writer, a real published author, talks about characters that won't shut up, as I am familiar with dialogue between characters that can wake a person in the night.  These characters must be heard and don't stop talking until they are.  The fact that others experience this same phenomenon, the brain working hard on something while its owner sleeps, may mean I'm not just completely loopy.  I'm hoping that's what it means, anyway.

I don't know if I'm any good, if I could ever have one of my novels published.  I really don't care.  But when writing becomes almost otherworldly I sit with my jaw hanging and just do what I'm "supposed" to do and scribble down what's being "said", always on paper because I'm such a slow, clumsy typist. 

Well, Novel 1 has been bothersome.  It's been going for my entire adult life and I just can't finish it.  I think maybe that I don't really want to.  Maybe it's just mine.  Something I use for practice, or as a creative outlet when others bore me.  Something no one else ever needs to see.

Novel 2 is my favorite.  I am passionate about every detail of this historical book.  Though I've put a lot of effort into getting the story told seamlessly, it's really as if it has written itself.  I come up with an idea, set a scene, add a detail, and it all fits in perfectly with the historical events that bracket my chosen time period.  I have basically reverse researched it.  All I've had to do is double check to make sure the lives and actions of my characters are appropriate to the time.  They always are with this book.  I don't know how or why.  I just trust that the story will get told.

Then there's the character who just won't shut up in Novel 3.  I don't even know who she is yet, I just write what's in her head.  What she sees, what she does, what she thinks, where she goes.  I had an eerie "encounter" with this girl the other day right on the X that marks the spot on the planet where the opening scene of Novel 3 takes place.  I didn't actually run into her, of course, but I swear it felt as if she had just turned the corner and hurried out of sight.  Where I was standing, where she is standing and moving through chapter one, was as familiar to me as if I had stood there before.  But I hadn't ever physically been there.  I had only seen the location through her eyes and an old 19th Century map.  And when my feet led me down the alleyway to the open plaza in which my story unfolds, I stood in utter amazement.  Everything looked just as it had when I was writing about it because I remembered what she was seeing.

The funny thing is that I had intended that afternoon to do the five minutes of picture taking and research I needed to finish Novel 2, as both have scenes that take place in the same historical city.  The girl from Novel 3 had other ideas, I guess.  She simply refused to be ignored.  Okay.  I "hear" you, Miz Priority One.

3 Little Things...Okay...One's BIG..

Um...let's see if I'm too prudish to post all three.  Here goes...

1.  I went to a Depeche Mode concert the other night.  My second.  I'm sooooooo spoiled to have even had the opportunity to hear that voice live once, but twice?  Lucky, lucky girl.  So glad all my old faves are a: still touring  b: still living

 2.  I sat, for just a moment, in one of my favorite places in the world, enjoying one of my favorite meals.  We were informed Saturday evening that my aunt's viewing was going to be the next afternoon.  That gave us just enough time to get to the funeral home to be with my family and pay our respects.  So even though we were wiped out from getting up at 4:30 a.m. to sell at the farmer's market, we threw our clothes in the car and drove all night. We spent two hours with my mother's side of the family and an evening and a breakfast with my dad and his wife.  Then we did what we always try to do, but never really have the time to fully enjoy.  We stopped in St. Augustine on our way out of Florida and practically ran down St. George St. to Columbia Restaurant for 1905 Salad.  Heaven! 

We "run" because St. Augustine is a 7 1/2 hour drive from our door, and any time we stop my husband must be at work the next morning.

We have done NOTHING this summer.  Nothing.  Haven't donned a bathing suit or even put a toe in the water. We obligated ourselves to sell every week at our local farmer's market, which left no time or energy for anything else, on top of the commitment I had made earlier in the summer to two families, cooking for them several times a week.

I was happy.  I loved it.  But then my husband started a new job 2 hrs. away...And then there was the miscarriage.  No fun.  I kind of just want to erase this past summer off the calender, but it was life.  It is what it is and I am still grateful for every moment of it.  Especially when I know we have simply joined the masses of people who never get a vacation, who don't have relatives who live in FL and work at Disney who can put them up and get them free passes, how we usually vacation.  Depeche Mode, 1905 Salad...all the holiday we needed.  And all crammed into one week.  So grateful for the escape.

And here we go.  #3.  I'm still a little shy to say it, but...

3.  My husband and I are putting in a wholehearted effort this weekend (giggle) to get pregnant.  Mow, Weed Eat, trim shrubs and trees...make a baby...  We have never had to try to get pregnant before so feel confident that everything on our to do list will get done.  Wish us luck!!!  Those trees really need pruning.

"House Cleaning" on 9-11

I feel so bad because I feel so good.  It's been a lovely, care-free, upbeat day.  No shadows or clouds following me around as I bee bop through the house doing the things I need to do.  But then I remembered that it was 9-11.  12 yrs. since that horrible day.

I'm supposed to pause and think.  Do you have any idea how much pausing and thinking I've been doing over the last few weeks?  I'm so sorry for the memory of all those lost and for their family members.  I'm still furious and I hurt for our country.  But I'm not going to do it today.  I'm just not.  I haven't forgotten.  I remember.  But I refuse to dwell on anything dark today.  If I do I'll sink.  I've been "cleaning" my house and ridding it of anything that makes me feel stressed, worried, or sad, and I'm just going to keep on feeling the sun shine in brighter and brighter.  Right on through 9-11. I can't forget, but I'm not going to let it freak me out this time.

That's okay, isn't it?