Sunday, January 6, 2013

Sensitive Mom, Sensitive Child

It helps to remember when things get difficult around here with my sensitive child, what it was like to be a sensitive 12 year old.  It was the worst year of my life.  Nothing that's ever happened since could be as traumatizing or defining.  It helps to remember, and thank goodness I remember like it was yesterday, but it doesn't always make it easy. 

We didn't have terrible twos or threes or fours.  It was tricky, especially before I learned about our personality type, but was never anything I couldn't handle with understanding, sensitivity, the occasional crack-down on absolute unacceptable behavior and a hug.  But I dreaded twelve with my little guy and here we are.  I can't help thinking, however, that it would be worse with a girl, for sure, because she would have been just like me, and that we could have had terrible twos, threes, and fours, but we didn't.  I also remind myself that an occasional bump in our road is nothing to worry about.

I could never call this The Terrible Twelves.  It just isn't terrible.  There are unpleasant moments that are few and far between.  I can live with that.  It will be okay.  He will be upset, but he will survive.  We will survive.  If I don't bail on him and hold his hormonal, sensitive kid outbursts against him, but remember what it's all about, we will be just fine.  If I take offense or don't look at the bigger picture but only in the moment of a frustrated outburst, I am stretching our bond-- that invisible rubber band that was created between each of my boys and myself that I promised from day one that I would never stretch or break.  Sigh.

Okay.  He has had a moment to calm down so I'm sure is ready to "need" his mama.  And in the words of Scarlet O'Hara, "tomorrow is another day".

Aw!  Sure enough.  My poor, sweet, little guy!  I love being the mom to these two precious boys.   Thanking my lucky stars for the privilege!

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